Neverland

If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I’ll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up! Not me!”
~Peter Pan

Summer kind of feels like Neverland these days and I am obsessed. May my four little Peter Pans never grow up.

Grateful for "My Thing"

I struggled after having my first three babies. I quickly became overwhelmed by motherhood, losing myself in the process, and frankly, not enjoying those first few months and years the way I should have.

Tessa was my first Beachbody baby. And it's the first time in those postpartum months that I didn't feel like I was going to die. It's the first time I didn't completely lose who I was. And it's the first time I was able to REST in motherhood, instead of STRIVE.

And maybe it's because she was our fourth child, or maybe it's because we had done TWINS the last time (and it's probably both of those things). But I also think it's because she was my first Beachbody baby. Because I had my THING, motherhood didn't have to be the thing I competed in anymore. Motherhood didn't have to be the thing that measured my successes or failures. Motherhood didn't have to be the thing that I PERFORMED at anymore. It didn't have to be thing where I checked all my boxes.

I had my thing, which gave me the space to just be a mom. And rest in it. And enjoy it. And have fun with it.

I'm so grateful for my thing.
I'm so grateful for the gift of motherhood.

Choose Your Hard

I just finished Brendon Burchard’s “High Performance Habits” week. It was one of those books where you feel totally inspired, totally ready to take on the world, but at the same time, daunted. How am I going to implement everything I’ve learned? How am I going to live up to this?

And then I take a deep breath (literally), and I remember that I don’t need to do it all at once. I can go back to the very first chapter and start there, one step, one chapter, one habit at a time.

The thing is, living your best life, everyday, all the time is overwhelming to think about. But how much better to be a bit overwhelmed in the pursuit of excellence (not perfection), than to be complacent, never moving forward, and living underwhelmed by your life.

Both ways of living are hard.
Choose your hard.

I Am So Lucky

The other day I was picking up Sienna from school, and I had these three wild things with me. The teacher who walked Sienna to the van (yeah, I’m a van-mom and it’s the best decision we’ve ever made), looked inside, smiled, and said...

“OH you have all of them today! You are so lucky.”

And she’s right. I am so dang lucky. But what struck me about what she said is that it’s so different from what most people say when they see me caravanning around town with my little gang.

Most people look at me with pity or laughter and say something like, “Boy, you have your hands full!”

The stares and comments don’t bother me because they’re right. I DO, in fact, have my hands full. And I will take their pity and receive their laughter. Sometimes I feel pretty pitiful and need all the empathy I can get. And sometimes I’m more than happy to be the circus attraction at Target. 🎯

But for this sweet teacher to see me and all my little people in all our messiness and recognize what a GIFT I have been given is something that I have thought about a lot.

I have recalled that moment several times since then...often when I’m frustrated and tired.

I have ALL of them today. I am SO lucky.

Just a reminder...

Mamas, this is your gentle reminder from Emily Ley to invest in yourself...take care of you too...meet your own needs...take some timeouts to refresh and renew.

“When you contribute and let good things flow into your well, you’re not taking away from your kids. In fact, you’re filling up with that good, sweet water, so you can pour into your kids later.”

A Beautiful Crisis

"Kids are a crisis. They're a beautiful crisis, but they're a crisis nonetheless. No one tells you this because they want you to have kids, too, so that the species survives. You don't realize it when you're in the middle of it either. Your only goal is to crawl across the finish line of an early bedtime and live to see another day." Jon Acuff

First of all, Jon Acuff is a writer and speaker, but he should be a stand-up comedian. I am reading his book, "Finish", and while I am learning a lot, I am laughing even more.

Also, it's okay to admit that parenting is freakin' hard. So.freakin.hard.

It is beautiful and ugly. It's my biggest success and my biggest failure ON A DAY TO DAY, MINUTE BY MINUTE BASIS.

It is by far, the greatest, most incredible dream and calling God has ever given me. But some days, this beautiful fairytale of a calling makes me want to curl in a ball and hide under my covers (it's been known to happen).

So if it feels unbelievably hard, and like nothing you ever expected or imagined, that's okay. It's supposed to feel that way. You're not alone.

Surrender to the Unknown

“Now I know that the best thing I can offer to this world is not my force or energy, but a well-tended spirit, a wise and brave soul.” Shauna Niequist

I've been reading Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist and it's one of those books I'll have to read over and over to truly digest. It's the kind of book you need to just marinate in.

This idea of heart over hustle, of presence over perfection, of grace over performance, of rest over rigidity...is something I've always believed in, talked about, and tried to practice.

But recently, God is taking me so much deeper. Where I thought I understood grace, I am still striving. Where I thought there was contentment, there is still a greed for more. Where I thought there was rest, there is still relentless urge to DO.

But I am surrendering to it. I am surrendering to the not knowing, the idea that I am not as together as I thought. I can be okay here for a while, marinating in the unknown, truly depending on Jesus, trusting Him to show me the way.