Being a mom is hard. It's draining. It's exhausting. Someone always needs something. There are constantly hands grabbing you, reaching for you. "Mama" rings constantly in your ears. Diapers are never-ending. And feeding them? Don't get me started.
Some days feel like an eternity...heck, the two hours leading up to bed time can feel like an eternity. I've never been so physically worn out and emotionally drained as when I have a day at home with all three kids by myself. Seriously. Never. Not as a Division I college athlete, not as the wife of a major league baseball player, and not even the summer I competed in a fitness competition.
Tantrums and attitudes, bribery and negotiations, and whining...lots and lots of whining fill my days. Sometimes I could just scream. And sometimes, unfortunately, I do. Sometimes I just want to quit. But that of course is not an option (also unfortunate). There are moments when I am POSITIVE that if I have to pick up one more cheerio off the ground, I'll officially lose it.
And then Price will toddle over with his bow-legged, pigeon-toed gait, and crawl in to my lap, book in hand.
Or Sienna, out of the blue, and unprompted, will quietly utter, "I love you, Mama."
Or Maddox will spontaneously give Price a huge hug and kiss.
One perfect moment in the midst of seemingly never-ending imperfect moments...makes it all okay. One hug, one act of sibling affection, one mischievous grin brings everything back in to perspective.
In those perfect moments I could nearly cry because of God's grace.
In those moments when I allow myself to sit back and just take it all in, I am overwhelmed with gratitude that these are MY babies. I get to keep them?! I can hardly believe it.
In those sacred 10 seconds before everything goes back to chaos, I think of the women who struggle with infertility or the mamas who have lost a child, and I can hardly breathe.
So when Price is playing in the toilet, and when Maddox has poop on his fingers, and Sienna hasn't stopped talking for three hours straight...I hope to be able to take a deep breath, and quietly say:
"I am the luckiest girl in the world. I can't BELIEVE I get to raise these beautiful, brilliant children and love on them all day, everyday."
Beachbody coach or not, I struggle when it comes to consistently eating well. I have compiled a list of 5 reasons that I struggle to maintain a healthy nutrition agenda.
1. I am a girl with a big appetite.
I've never understood those people who just forget to eat. I am usually planning my lunch before I've even tasted my breakfast.
In middle school, I used to bring the largest lunch of all my friends and was known (and gently teased) for finishing off what another kid couldn't eat.
In high school, when I was challenged to eat a whole medium pizza (8 slices), I did.
At a buffet, I am nearly always the first one to pop back up for seconds.
When Matt and I split a meal, it's half and half (never mind the fact that he is nearly 100 pounds heavier than me)! Poor Matt never gets to FINISH off my plate the way most men get to enjoy the leftovers of their wives' meals.
Let me put it this way...I have literally had very real ideas of creating a spin-off of the show "Man vs Food". I, of course, would call it "Little Girl vs Food"...because who wouldn't tune in to watch a petite, muscular, seemingly lady-like gal CRUSH some food? I would watch that. And that just goes to show how big my appetite really is.
I love to eat and I can EAT.A.LOT.
2. Cheeseburgers are my favorite food.
Why is this a problem? Because I know other women with big appetites, but it seems a few of them actually prefer to fill themselves up with salmon and broccoli and salad and quinoa.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy healthy food...but not as much as I enjoy a HUGE, greasy, bacon cheeseburger (with fries of course). OR a large pizza with extra cheese. (Is anyone else hungry yet?)
When people ask me what my favorite kind of food is...the answer is easy. Bar food. Literally, the kind of food you find in a sports bar is my favorite food. Could I choose a worst genre of food? (Do foods have genres?)
3. I am very content with how I look and am sitting at my ideal body weight/size.
Again, why is this a problem? Because I'm not motivated. I am one of those lucky ones that can get by with a little unhealthy eating and maintain their weight and physique.
So if I can maintain my weight even when I make poor food choices, why would I be motivated to choose the grilled chicken and veggies over the steak and baked potato?
I am working on capturing the idea that my food choices should not be based on how I look, but on my overall health. And I'm trying...I really am! But I'm not totally there yet.
4. I, too, fall prey to emotional eating.
When I am stressed and overwhelmed...these are the feelings that drive me to eat. In those moments, carrot sticks and hummus don't cut it. I want the chips and queso. I want the pint of Ben and Jerry's Half Baked (the best flavor) ice cream!
After a long morning of being a mom, feeding the kids lunch, entertaining them outside, and FINALLY getting them down for a nap...the ONLY thing I want to do is curl up on the couch, watch the Bachelorette, and snack on something unhealthy. Like I said...these are my "confessions".
5. I am not an excellent or creative cook.
It's really not my idea of fun to admit publicly that I am not that great of a cook : ) I am getting better, but man, I just don't enjoy it that much. It overwhelms me to look through recipes, find a healthy meal, put in the time, and then HOPE it turns out delicious, or at least edible enough that your two year old twins don't spit it out and throw it on the floor. Is that so much to ask for?
Cooking just doesn't come naturally to me. At this point, I am unable to look through my cupboards and refrigerator and just WHIP something up with the ingredients that I have. My mind doesn't work that way. So every meal takes a lot of planning and preparation, and frankly, I find it exhausting.
So now you know. I struggle. I am far from perfect when it comes to eating 100% clean, balanced, well-portioned meals all the time. But I am working on it. I am striving to be better. I am slowly changing my mindset and perspective on food and what it means to me.
So stay tuned for updates and my tips and tricks for eating healthy...even when you are a "girl who loves to eat"!
I mentioned recently that I had been in a workout rut. I was bored, unmotivated, and weary. After hopping around from program to program, I decided to take it back to my first Beachbody love, P90X3.
Tony Horton's P90X3 is intense and challenging. This program will not only lean you out, but they will make you more athletic. You will be more dynamic. You will be able to do things you have never done before.
When my twin boys were two months old and my daughter was just over two years old, I joined my first accountability group and relied on P90X3 and Shakeology to mold me back in to the body I knew before I was pregnant with twins. I relied on this exercise program to give me back control over my body when I felt like I had zero control over anything else.
Tony Horton made me feel like "ME" again. He made me feel like I was more than just a nursing milk machine mama. He gave me back my confidence and my six-pack. He reminded me that I used to be athletic and competitive...and that I still am! He trained me in a way I've never been trained before using resistance training, cardio, yoga, agility drills, kickboxing, yoga and balance skills.
P90X3 is the whole package. I can't wait to review each workout here on my blog and dive in deeper to what make P90X3 so special to me. After all, you never forget your first love.
And then Price will toddle over with his bow-legged, pigeon-toed gait, and crawl in to my lap, book in hand. 
