Cease Striving

"Cease striving and know that I am God."  Psalm 46:10 NASB
"Be still and know that I am God!" Psalm 46:10 NLT
"Step out of the traffic!  Take a long, loving look at me, your High God!" Psalm 46:10 MSG

This verse has appeared over and over to me in the last few weeks.  It has shown up in two different books, been discussed in Bible studies, and frankly, I just can't get it out of my head.  I may not always hear God's voice, I may not always be able to discern the voice of the Holy Spirit, but I can be quite confident that God is trying to say something to me.  

Through reading Jeannie Cunnion's, Parenting the Wholehearted Child and Pat Layton's Life Unstuck, through self-examination and reflection, I have discovered something about myself...

I seek approval through performance.  I am a performance-driven maniac.  I base my self worth on completing my to-do list, how well behaved my children are, how often I am intimate with my husband, how much money I make, on whether or not I've lost my temper that day, on hitting goals in my business, and if I was able to put a healthy dinner on the table that night.  

Are you exhausted?  I am.  I truly had no idea how much of what I thought about myself was based on these scenarios, these behaviors.  What happened to grace?  What happened to just being me?  What happened to owning my strengths and ADMITTING my failures? 

In high school, it was even worst if you can imagine.  I remember sobbing after every track meet if I did not live up to the standards I had set for myself and the ones I IMAGINED my coaches, family, and friends had set for me.  And when I say "sobbing", I do mean "sobbing".  

In one particular instance, one I can not look back on without cringing, I had just WON the state championship for pole-vaulting.  I was a junior in high school, and I had won my first state championship, yet I was balling because I had not reached the height I had hoped for.  A reporter was trying to interview me and I could hardly speak through my tears, and what I did manage to say was how disappointed I was in myself.  

Seriously?!  How ungrateful I was!  How immature!  How embarrassing!  The following day when the article came out, I cried again, but this time I was crying because I realized how ridiculous I had been and I was ashamed.  

After that, I think I slowly began to accept God's grace and also awoke to the realization that my friends, family, coaches, and God did not love me any less or any more based on how I pole-vaulted.  For three years, I had bought in to that lie.  

Though I don't pole-vault anymore, there is plenty more to STRIVE for, isn't there?  There are a plethora of ways to prove how great, disciplined, and successful you are.  

Jeannie Cannon says of herself, "It was easier to think of being saved by grace than it was to think of being accepted by grace...On most days I acted like Jesus' final three words on the cross were, 'Make me proud', instead of 'It is finished'."

I never could have articulated what Jeannie did in that above quote, but when I read it, I realized I may as well have wrote it.  That is me.  

I try so hard.  I think and strategize and read and do.  When will I just BE? 

"God doesn't want something from us.  He simply wants us." C.S. Lewis

St. Augustine said, "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you."

I am ready to rest.  I am ready to BE with God.  I am ready to "cease striving" and know that He is God.  I am relieved to receive His Grace.  

P90X3 Favorites: Flip Flop Crunch

No Magic Pill

It has been heavy on my heart to share this...

Beachbody is not a quick fix.  

Shakeology is not a magic pill.  

I love health and fitness.  I am passionate about health and fitness.  I get so much fulfillment out of showing others what their bodies are capable of, guiding them in their goal-setting and creating a new mindset regarding who they are and what they can do.  

I was a Division I All-American pole-vaulter.  I interned at the Olympic Training Center in the strength and conditioning department.  I was a personal trainer.  

I know what being healthy looks like and I know that there are many different and GREAT ways to achieve your health and fitness goals.  

Beachbody is my method of choice.  Beachbody is the avenue that works BEST for me to reach others, share my experiences, and help them get where they want to go.  Choosing Beachbody has allowed me to make the biggest impact, and not just with my customers, but in my most important role...as a wife and mother to three precious little people.  

I believe in Beachbody as a company, and I believe in their products.  I don't have to be an expert because the people at Beachbody are.  The trainers and creators of Shakeology are brilliant and they know their stuff.  I am proud to be a Beachbody coach and I stand behind their products.  

That being said, I would be silly to try and convince you that Beachbody programs or Shakeology is the ONLY way to get healthy.  Of course not!  I love working out at the gym and I've been dying to try cross-fit!  But in the last 18 months, getting out of the house is a luxury, so my at-home programs have been my go-to!  

I love the quality that Shakeology offers.  I love that I can give it to my kids, and not worry about what ingredients are REALLY in it!  But that doesn't mean it's the ONLY quality shake on the market, it's just the one I've chosen, one my family enjoys, and the one that worked for me.  

The bottom line is this...to reach your health and fitness goals, you have to work hard.  You have to KNOW where you want to go and WHY you want to be there.  You have to be consistent.  You have to make sacrifices, and you have to be disciplined.  Any program or company or product that tells you differently is probably wrong.   

There are so many wonderful ways to get healthy.  There are so many incredible options.  You have to find what is going to work for you right NOW.  You have to find the best way for you to stay consistent and keep you motivated.  And I hope you do.  

As for me, I will continue to use Beachbody as my platform to support others through their health and fitness journey.  

Childbirth In All It's Glory

Is it me or is everyone you know having a baby or due with one any minute?!  With babies being born or about to be born everywhere I turn, I am vividly reminded of having my first baby, Sienna Rose.  

It was five days before my due date in Cleveland, OH, and I knew I was in labor, but the contractions were inconsistent and slow, so Matt, my parents, and my mother-in-law, Cindy, decided we were hungry, so at about 6:30 PM I consumed half a cheeseburger and fries.

Meanwhile, my contractions had suddenly become stronger, so in the midst of eating,  I periodically had to step outside of the restaurant, so I could be alone and experience the contractions without 50 pairs of eyes on me.  And yes, our waitress was mildly freaked out.

Upon returning home, I still wanted to wait it out because I refused to be the girl who shows up to the hospital TOO EARLY.  I texted my friend and she said I should go to the hospital when I could no longer talk during a contraction.  Oh.  I hadn't been able to talk during my contractions for the last hour or so! 



Off to the hospital we went, and in the front seat, I was literally writhing in pain and during the check-in process, I was hardly able to give the nurses the information we needed.  Finally, at 8:45, I was in my room, and they were going to see how dilated I was.  I was certain that i must be 7-8 centimeters.  4.5 centimeters.  I was angry.  I wanted to have a natural water birth with no epidural, but at this point I was seriously doubting my ability to do that.  If I was in this much pain at only 4.5 centimeters, there was NO way I could last another 6 hours.  

I was discouraged, defeated, and experiencing pain like I've never experienced it before.  My contractions did not come in waves, but were coming one after another with no rest in between.  I was also angry about that.  What happened to that minute or two rest I was supposed to have in between each horrific, painful, cramp taking over my body?!  

45 minutes later, my doula told the nurse to check me again because either the baby was sunny side-up OR I was progressing very quickly.  Sure enough, just 45 minutes later, I was already at 8 centimeters.  

I crawled in to the birthing tub, my water broke, and it was time to push.  Looking back, I have to laugh because I had brought a cute little sports bra to wear in the tub for modesty's sake.  In the throes of  natural childbirth, decency goes out the window.  I am pretty sure I TORE my hospital gown off and JUMPED in to that tub as much as a 39 week pregnant girl can.  

I was so happy to start pushing because that meant the contractions would feel differently and I was just pushing!  Well let me tell you...the don't call it the ring of fire for nothing.  WOW.  The pain of pushing (for me) was a completely different kind of pain, though no less intense than contractions.  

At 10:33 pm, just four hours after eating a cheeseburger and less than two hours after arriving at the hospital, my slimy, swollen, hairy daughter was born.  (I'm sorry...I'm one of those people who don't find newborns all that beautiful...even my own!)  

In the movies, the mom always frantically and lovingly asks, "Is she okay?  Is she healthy?  Does she have ten fingers and ten toes?!"  I can say with absolute honesty, those words didn't even cross my mind.  The very FIRST thing I said to myself was, "THANK GOD that's over."  Oops.  Sorry Sienna. 

I do remember one touchy-feely, sweet moment though.  When they put her in my arms, she opened her eyes, and stared right in to mine.  I remember the room seemed fuzzier and quieter and life slowed down just in that moment.  And then it was over, and it was out of the tub for me.  I had a few complications down under, having to do with some tearing and birthing my placenta.  Lovely, I know.  

PS: Matt gagged twice during the course of all this.  First, when her head started to come out...he literally had to walk away, and wasn't too impressed with the miracle of birth at that moment.  And then afterwards, someone had casually just left the placenta laying out, which Matt happened to catch a glance of.  Once again, he had to leave the premises and get his gag reflex under control.  Thinking about both of those moments makes me laugh out loud.  

PPS: These are the nice pictures.  I have some pictures of me still in the birthing tub that could probably feature on Ellen's "Awkward Family Photos" segment!

5 Ways To Crawl Out of a Workout Slump

Have you ever been in a workout slump?  Unmotivated?  Uninspired?  

ME TOO!  

As a matter of fact, I've been living here for a few weeks.  My workouts have been sporadic and my effort dismal.  My wide variety of programs remain on my shelf ignored and unused. 

Yes, believe it or not, I do not jump out of bed excited to workout everyday.  Shocking, I know.  So how do I make it through these ruts...these valleys of my fitness journey?  How do you get back to the competitive, motivated, workout-crushing machine that you once were? 

Here are my tips for coming out of your workout slump...

1. Just move. 

Do something.  Anything.  Go for a walk.  Stick the DVD in and do it half-heartedly if you must.  Chase your kids around the park.  Have a dance party in your living room.  Just move. 

2. Do something different.

If you're a gym-goer, purchase a DVD workout series.  If you work out from home, go back to the gym.  If you are a runner, go take a local hip-hop cardio class!  Do something TOTALLY different than you've been doing. 

3. Do something fun.

Go play tennis or basketball or organize a flag football game!  Go roller skating.  Go to one of those trampoline places and see how long you last!  (I hear most people don't last very long!)

4. Create accountability.

Obviously, you can join one of my online accountability groups, but you don't have to!  Tell your best friend that she is going to meet you at the gym everyday for the next two weeks.  Tell your husband, mom, co-workers, social media network to check in with you everyday and ask you if you did you workout!  Find a running buddy or yoga partner.  Create your own accountability!

5. Challenge yourself. 

Give yourself a workout challenge and make sure you reward yourself at the end!  It might be that you are going to workout for 25 of the next 30 days, and after one month, you get to go splurge on a new outfit a Lulu Lemon (that would motivate me)!  Maybe you and your friends do a squat challenge where you build up your repetitions to a certain number.  Perhaps you could sign up for a 5K or even a half-marathon!  Draw out your competitive juices to help get you back on track! 

BONUS TIP:

Remember why you are working out in the first place, write it down, put it somewhere you will see it, and when you don't feel like working out, whip out that reminder, and PRESS PLAY! 

The Comeback Kid

Have you ever gotten off track?  

Have you ever decided to focus on a course, but along the way you get distracted, so you veer off, dabble, and end up more confused than ever?  

Have you ever been confident in your strengths, only to quickly lose that confidence when you start looking at others and what they're doing and how successful they are?

Me too.  

Almost exactly a year ago, I decided to focus on this blog, feeling confident that my writing was going to be the best and most effective way for ME to reach people.  I really enjoy writing, and some even say I'm not too bad at it.  I felt like a blog would give me the opportunity to share my thoughts, and struggles, opinions, and lessons learned in all aspects of my life.  I hoped my blog would help me reach people beyond my circle, make new friendships, and new business contacts.   

Then I started looking around.  I started noticing how this person had a wildly successful youtube channel, and this person seemed to be having almost instantaneous success on a Facebook like page.  

So I dabbled.  And dabbled.  And became more and more confused about who I was, where I wanted my business to go, and what my true mission was.  

After weeks of inner turmoil, unnecessary stress, and soul-searching, I realized that I really just wanted to blog again.  I missed it.  I missed expressing myself through the written word and sharing my vulnerabilities and victories with whoever might be reading.  This blog makes me feel proud.  This blog makes me feel the most ME.  I don't have to pretend when I am blogging.  

So.I'm.back. 

And guess what else?  I have another huge confession to make.  And this one hurts a little.  In a whisper here and a stirring there, the way God does, He spoke to me.  

(I literally just had to swallow my pride and fear before I typed this next part out.)

I haven't been using my platform enough for His purpose and His glory.  Ouch.  But He's right.  I can preach health and fitness all day long...I obviously seem to have plenty to say by the looks of my Facebook page or my last few blog posts.  But what about Him?  In parenthood, in marriage, in career, my greatest passion and commitment should always be Him. 

How can it not be?  How can I have SO MUCH to share about the 21 Day Fix, yet too infrequently, do I share about who HE is and His grace and His blessings?!  

I've been scared.  I've been shy.  I've been too comfortable.  I haven't wanted to step on anyone's toes.  I still cringe as I write this.  Whew.  

And then I had another thought.  Why would God allow me to expand my reach when I am not taking care of the network I already have?  Why would He bless me with more followers, friends, or readers, when I am not sharing Him with those I already  have access to?  

So that's that.  As much as it hurt to realize that truth, I feel more peace than I've felt in weeks.  I have a new confidence and a new purpose.  I feel refreshed and renewed because in the midst of my failings, I've been showered with God's grace. He's giving me another chance because He always gives us another chance.

So I'm back and I'm grateful. 

Fit In Five : Leg Day

Only have five minutes?  I have the perfect workout for those THIGHS today!