Operation: Fun Dara

I have become boring.  It's sad, terribly sad, but true.  

And it's hard to admit, but you guys know my blog is where I work my issues out and lay them out for the world to see!

I discovered this shocking revelation just the other night.  I couldn't shake this sense of discontentment, this feeling of being bored, this concept that my days, my weeks, my months are the same.  Monotony was boring me to tears.  

Naturally, I looked around me for something or someone to blame, but sadly, I realized it was me.  I.am.boring.

You might be shaking your head, claiming that I'm being too hard on myself.  You might even think I'm tons of fun.  But I'm not...just ask my husband.  Ouch.  That was even harder to admit. 

You see, even on our date nights, which we do regularly and I genuinely look forward to, by 9 o'clock my eyes are glazing over as I try to follow what exactly it is he is saying.  

After the kids go to bed, I am rarely, if ever, in the mood to discuss the things we need to discuss...easy, little things like what to do for Sienna's birthday.  But I am so apparently exhausted, that I refuse to engage him in conversation about trivial matters, let alone deeper or more intimate topics.  

Now, I know what you're thinking again.  I have a ball of boundless energy in my almost-four year old, Sienna, and two destructive tornadoes in the form of my 21 month old twins, Price and Maddox.  Of course I'm exhausted.  I am smack dab in the middle of one of the most challenging seasons in parenthood...the toddler stage...and I have three.  

And now you're remembering this relatively successful fitness business I run from home, and you are desperately trying to make me feel better about myself, patting me on the back, and saying, "It's okay that you are so drained.  Anyone in your position would be."

And maybe you're right.  But I don't think my marriage should take the fall.  I don't think Matt should receive the short end of the stick at the end of everyday.  I don't think this "tough season" is a good enough excuse to justify my boring behavior.  

In fairness, it's not just Matt who has been deprived of my former magnetic personality.  The thought of leaving my house after 8pm for a girls' night is often the LAST thing I want to do.  And scheduling play dates remains elusive due to my boys' nap schedule.  

So instead of waiting for the children to grow up and for this season to pass, I am going to create the spark I've been missing.  I have decided to be fun again.  I am going to loosen the reigns on my schedule and drink some coffee in the evening if I must.  I am going to put girls' nights on the calendar and meet Matt for surprise lunch dates.  

Doesn't it sound fun?  Don't I sound fun?  

I'll keep you updated on Operation: Fun Dara.  Stay tuned!